Flipping the Script on Self-Worth

I’ve been working through Janice Holland’s Courageous Living Jumpstart program — and let me just say, Janice is amazing. She was my trauma instructor and continues to be one of the biggest reasons I’ve been able to face my past head-on. This week’s journal prompt hit me hard:

“What messages did I receive about my worth growing up?”

Whew. That one unraveled a lot.

I realized just how deeply the messages I received as a child shaped my relationships — and not in a good way. I’ve always been a people pleaser. I’ve carried the fawn trauma response like a badge, constantly taking on everyone else’s problems and blaming myself for things that were never mine to carry.

Now, I’m entering a new relationship — and it’s different. I’ve been honest with him about my past, about my trauma, and for the first time, I’m not being told how to fix it. He doesn’t try to “rescue” me. He listens. He encourages. He helps me move forward rather than keeping me stuck in what’s already happened.

This is not what I had before.

My first husband mirrored the same harmful messages I grew up with — blaming me for everything that went wrong. John, my second, was a fixer. He couldn’t just sit with me in my pain. He always had to suggest a solution, as if I was broken. I never felt like I was enough. My dreams didn’t matter to either of them.

After they were both gone, I made a decision. I couldn’t go back to school like I had planned — I didn’t have the time or money anymore — but I could still create something meaningful. So I started showing up. For others. For myself. I began building the life I wanted, in real time, helping others move through their pain too. And you know what? I’m thriving.

My new partner believes in me. He supports my dreams. He reminds me I don’t have to shrink to fit anyone else’s mold.

So what did I do with those messages from childhood that told me I wasn’t worthy?

I flipped them.

I am proving, to myself and to the world, that I am worthy.

I am strong — stronger than I ever thought possible.

I’m not afraid to walk into a room and be exactly who I am.

I no longer feel the need to be the “right” kind of friend, girlfriend, or wife.

I get to be me. Fully.

And this — this — is what Flying Solo is all about.

I may be walking this path on my own terms, but I don’t want to walk it alone. I want to bring others along for the ride. So if you’re navigating your own healing, breaking free of your past, or rediscovering your worth, I’d love for you to join me.

Let’s rise together. Who’s coming with me?